Resilience: the 8 keys to developing it

Resilience is the art of adapting to adverse situations, in two cases. Either you have experienced intense stress, extremely difficult situations over time, repeatedly, or you have suffered a violent trauma in a short period of time. If we had to define resilience we would say that it is the ability of the individual to seek out his internal or external resources in order to adapt to the situation and live a roughly balanced and positive life despite very complicated and very difficult adverse situations.

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SUMMARY:

• Current crisis and resilience
• The X keys to developing your resilience capacity
• Work on your resilience capacity with professional coaching

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Several specialists have looked at the issue of resilience in France. The best known is Boris Cyrulnik, but we have a number of experts who have worked all over the world on the subject. The keys to developing your resilience capacity that we are going to talk about are therefore not keys invented by Valérie Rocoplan, CEO of Talentis and Professional Coach. These are keys from this research work for which you can find bibliographical references at the end of the article.

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Current crisis and resilience

Since March 2020, we have experienced several consecutive stresses:

• Fear of the virus
• Isolation due to lockdown
• Fear of losing your job...

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The various stressful situations certainly combine, but for all that, they will not necessarily be traumas. However, there is no resilience if there is no trauma. This is very important to underline. In fact, today, not all of us are necessarily concerned with the resilience process. On the other hand, we are all concerned with the ability to adapt, to be open and flexible to make this stress an opportunity to learn, to bounce back in order to avoid it becoming a trauma.

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The 8 keys to developing your resilience capacity

Key 1: Accept reality

As hard as it is, as difficult as it is, it is important to be able to quickly come face to face with what is happening in order to be able to face it, to cross it. Then ask yourself, “How free am I in what is happening? What can I do to take action in this difficult situation? ” We always have some freedom, whether it's to act or to think.

Also to be read:

Cycle of change, from amazement to action

Key 2: put into words what is happening

The second key, which is associated with facing reality, is to put into words what is happening. That means talking to yourself if it's too hard to talk to someone else about it. Hence the interest of logbooks or personal notebooks to write down with words on paper what happens to us if it is too hard to talk to someone about it.Putting words to what is happening allows us to avoid it going down in the ground.

Key 3: accept your vulnerability

What skills do I have? Which ones do I not have (yet)? Already satisfied with everything I have done to move forward to take care of my self-esteem. Times of stress tend to have a very strong impact on self-esteem and self-confidence. So, building self-esteem means building on who you are good and not just looking at everything you can't do.

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Key 4: get rid of limiting beliefs

In high-stress situations, we tend to unconsciously cling to what we still believe to be true. Instead, let's open ourselves to everything that is possible, everything that is uncertain. Let's have this ability to say to ourselves: “Well no, I'm not going to lock myself into thought patterns or beliefs, but I'm going to open myself up to as many possibilities as possible! ”

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Key 5: seek external resources

The two major external resources are the family and friendly environment.Go build close relationships with people you love, with whom you know you will be listened to. Make sure that this close environment brings you positive energy. The professional environment is also important. Again, it will be a question of accepting your vulnerability and accepting that you need help. Often, people who have trouble getting out of difficult situations are the ones who want to work things out on their own.

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Key 6: be altruistic

The more difficult and stressful times I go through, the more my ability to help others will help me heal myself. How can I set up a system of generosity and support from others who are perhaps even more fragile or sad than me? Belonging to an association, giving time, makes it possible to live better during these difficult times. The warmth of giving brings a lot of comfort to yourself and to others.

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Key 7: listen to your emotions

We are in an emotional roller coaster. There's a lot of fear right now, but there's also anger and sadness. All of us work to ensure that these emotions are properly identified:

• Spot them
• Listen to them
• Name them

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The objective: to identify the need hidden behind in order to restore physical and psychological balance. But you still have to listen to each other!

Also to be read:

Make your emotions levers for professional development

Key 8: live in the moment

Strangely, for the last 9 months, people have been saying, “We are living in uncertainty.” In fact, we have always been! Certainly, the future is more uncertain than before. What if we said to ourselves: “I accept that the future is more uncertain, that the present is imperfect and that the past is over.” Set daily and weekly projects to focus our energy on the present moment.

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Work on your resilience capacity through professional coaching

At Talentis/Click & Coach, we have been experts in coaching managers, talents and leaders for 18 years. We are not psychologists, but as professional coaches, we are experts in change management. We can fully support individuals and teams in this process of self-knowledge, emotional intelligence, and the ability to find these levers of freedom. Find solutions to be more open to the future and flexible. We put at your disposal our several thousand hours of support for change in periods of high tension and uncertainty.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY: Discovering meaning in your life — Victor FranklOur reasons for living - Victor FranklResilience: basic knowledge - Boris CyrulNikkintsugi - The art of resilience - Céline Santini