Developing emotional intelligence: Is it possible? - Talentis

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Emotional intelligence is the ability to remain calm under pressure, to respond rather than to react, but also to remain fluid, in relationships with others, to really stay in touch, even in difficult situations. What we see is that emotional intelligence is being able to manage emotions, to express how one feels, to manage relationships in those moments, to manage stress. There are lots of situations where in a meeting, or in front of a customer, or at a given moment that was key in your day, you feel that tensions are coming up, for example in the other person. The question is how do you react at that moment? Can this be learned?

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What we do know is that a manager who has been able to develop his emotional intelligence is like a beacon for his team and for himself, that is to say, he will help the stability of his team, he will help the stability in the various moments that this team will go through. This will impact the well-being of his team, but obviously the performance of his team. So the question is how are we going to develop this emotional intelligence in concrete terms?

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Let's take a concrete case. You are in a society in transformation. Maybe at home, right now, there are topics that concern you, that make you maybe a little more tired. Your collaborators are the same. You have an important meeting that must start and at some point, you have a collaborator who, in front of everyone, challenges one of your decisions and you immediately feel that there is tension rising in the room. So of course, you know, you have taken management courses, we told you, active listening will make things easier. Dialogue will make things easier. Empathy is also developing.

Empathy, the ability to understand what is going on for the other person, will make things easier. Now it's faster said than done. In a situation dealing with different people, no matter how much you know it intellectually, maybe you yourself will feel a bit of tension. So the question is how are you going to be able to manage? Concretely, what is the solution?

Short-term solutions

There are all the relaxation and breathing solutions that can help you in the very short term. For example, you can find videos on the Internet about everything that revolves around cardiac coherence. You also have apps that help you breathe. So it's very simple. You can do it by yourself. You have to inhale for five seconds, exhale for five seconds, several times in a row and that literally regulates the physiological tensions that we have. It's not psychological, it's physiological.

There are people who, in order to avoid reacting impulsively to the heat, have developed stupid techniques such as taking a glass of water, giving yourself time to drink this glass of water, to take a break and calm down internally. There are small solutions like that, simple and effective, that once you apply them, work very well.

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Medium-term solutions

There are also medium-term solutions. For example, you were able to manage the situation very well on the spot, but internally, you still feel a little bit of stress. It is not good, neither for you, nor for those around you, nor for the team, nor for your family or friends that you will meet again in the evening. So the idea is to get rid of this stress. You can do this through a leisure activity that relaxes you. You can also do it through sport. Quite simply, it is a solution.

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Long-term solutions

In the longer term, you can also invest in learning mindful meditation solutions, etc. There is of course the possibility of coaching on the subject, coaching around the development of one's emotional intelligence. And that's the first good news, is that the emotional quotient, which measures emotional intelligence, can develop throughout life, unlike IQ.

And the second good news is that research has shown that the emotional quotient is correlated to both well-being and to people's professional and personal success. So when you develop your emotional quotient, you increase your chances of feeling good and more successful in your life and in your work. So that's extremely interesting. Moreover, at Talentis, we have many coaches who are certified in supporting the development of emotional intelligence. And that's really an extremely important angle that makes it easier for managers to succeed.

In conclusion, what is important is to note that emotional intelligence is intrinsically linked to self-knowledge, well-being, and success. That's true for you, but it also has an impact on the team. The answer to the question at the beginning of this video is that yes, emotional intelligence does develop. It's linked to our ability to take a step back from ourselves, from how we function, and to have a better understanding of ourselves and our triggers and strengths. So, the more you develop your knowledge of your strengths, your knowledge of your qualities, you will be able to develop your emotional intelligence and you will be able to adapt better and better to the various difficult situations that, unfortunately, we are all likely to encounter professionally and also personally.