Couple and ambition: a question of balance

It's not always easy to find a compromise between personal and professional life. The only way to achieve this: a frank and open dialogue with your spouse.

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In a study published in 2014 in the Harvard Business Review, three researchers interviewed 25,000 Harvard graduates. Overall, men had reached higher positions and were also more satisfied with their career trajectory than women. The majority of women interviewed recognized that they expected to be in a couple where everyone's career would also be taken seriously. But for 40% of them, it was their husband's career that was in fact considered a priority. Conversely, more than 70% of men expected their professional life to be Priority on that of their wife.

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Stop self-censorship

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There are many women who continue to play theself-censorship, hold back their ambitions, let opportunities pass by, or even refuse a promotion because of their spouse's professional obligations. However, ambition and career are also conjugate to the feminine.

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Even today, it is clear that most couples work on a pattern unequal. However, words like “transfer offer”, “promotion”, “expatriation project” or “remuneration level” must be a Common language, valid and audible by all.

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Talk to your spouse

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At each stage of your professional career and especially at each key moment in the life of your couple, do not hesitate to discuss the subject. Speech allows you to hear everyone's views, to know your ambitions and projections for the future. Are you on the same page? Do you feel Sustained in your project? The dialogue will make it possible to verify this. If this is not the case, you can then discuss it with your spouse and So escape the unsaid.

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Don't do everything

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Some 68% of women say they do more than their spouse within the family unit (Ipsos poll, March 2014). If the education of children — homework, choice of schools, appointments with teachers... — seems to be better shared in the couple, this is still not the case with household chores. Moreover, according to the same survey, 44% of men admit to doing less. Don't fall into the trap of taking on most of the household chores! And do you say that You don't have to choose between being a mother and being an ambitious working girl.

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Negotiate when you need to

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Dissensions are sometimes unavoidable when, in a couple, each partner leads a career of a comparable level. A geographical change, an expatriation... any professional development will not fail to be the source of logistical complications. Accept a position with extended responsibilities will also be accompanied by new requirements : late meetings, trips abroad, files to study after dinner...

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Faced with these changes, there is only one imperative: negotiate. Talk to your spouse to avoid, together, that one sacrifices their career for the other. In a couple, the important thing is to promote the professional development of everyone. If this does not mean that you will find a compromise immediately, talking to your spouse will allow you to defend your point of view and defuse the beginning of conflict or even rancor.